


like the sun burning behind your eyelids

by LadyMarshmallow



Category: Blue Lock (Manga)
Genre: BaroKuni, F/M, M/M, Regret, Romance, Unrequited Love, no beta I die by my own sowrd, outsider pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22301332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMarshmallow/pseuds/LadyMarshmallow
Summary: Falling in love with Kunigami Rensuke was like falling in love with the sun.You'll get burned, you'll get blinded.And so, all they could do was adore him from a distance, always watching and just watching.Alternatively, a story of a love that was never realized, told in snippets of regret.
Relationships: (one-sided) Original Characters/Kunigami Rensuke, (unrequited) Original Characters/Kunigami Rensuke, Barou Shouei/Kunigami Rensuke
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	like the sun burning behind your eyelids

**Author's Note:**

> This is very random and out of the blue, but ~~chapter 58 onwards said BaroKuni rights~~ and I was inspired, so there's that.
> 
> Anyway, this is mostly BaroKuni told from an outside perspective.
> 
> Enjoy!

**ꔰꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꗥꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔰ**

Radiant.

If someone was to ask Honda Kaoru what her first love was like, she would tell them without hesitation that it was radiant, blindingly so. There was really no other word that could better describe what it was like, what _he_ was like.

She was in her third year of middle school — back when she was still so young and dreaming of a fairytale love story — when she first saw him. He was rather tall, standing out amongst the crowd of people clad in black and gray, and with features kissed by the colors of autumn and a smile as gentle as the first buds of spring, it was hard not to be enthralled by him.

Kunigami Rensuke, his name was as Honda learned not even a day later, was a very charming boy, and although he was nowhere near as gallant and dashing as the prince whisking her away in her dreams, Honda found herself falling for his kind eyes — bright like sunlight and glimmering like stars — anyway. And Honda, filled with a love so young and innocent, did her best to know more about him, keeping her eyes open and her ears attentive to anything that had to do with him.

Still, despite her knowing a lot about him, he remained unaware of her affections for him. In fact, he had no knowledge of her existence either. Of course, it was not a fault of his but hers and hers alone.

She was in love with him, but she had never really found the courage to talk to him, much less approach him. To her, he was like a first magnitude star, and every time she would look at him, she felt as if she was a moth being lured in by the fire in his soul, and she knew all too well how that story ends, so she delegated herself as a distant admirer and nothing beyond that, watching him day after day after day, falling for him more and more until it was almost unbearable.

_I will talk to him tomorrow._

Honda would say, and her lies would keep on piling up, and before she knew it, their graduation day had arrived, and by then, it was already too late.

She learned that he was going to a high school somewhere far away, to a place she couldn't reach. She knew she wouldn't see him again, and yet Kunigami Rensuke would be engraved in her memory for years to come.

"I wonder where he is now," Honda, now a full-fledged adult, mumbled to herself as she gazed lovingly at the sunflowers in her shop, dark eyes full of unfulfilled dreams and intense longing.

People usually say that one couldn't simply forget their first love, and they were words that rang true. At least they did in her case. Even now, many years later and despite telling herself that she had moved on, there was still a part of her, one that resided in the deepest corners of her subconscious, wishing for their paths to cross once more. And as if someone from the heavens was listening to her, the door to her humble flower shop swung open, and there in front of her was her first love — he was older now, taller, but Honda will never mistake the warmth of his eyes for anyone else's — and he still shone the same way he did before. Perhaps, even more now.

"Hello," Kunigami greeted her with a smile, one that was polite, the kind offered to a stranger. He didn't know her. There was no way he would. She had been too scared to approach him then, content in simply admiring him from a distance, but he was here now, and Honda hoped that maybe, she still had a chance.

"Hi," she said with her sweetest smile in place, "how can I help you?"

"Can you help me find the right flowers?" Kunigami asked her as looked around the shop. He looked amazing surrounded by flowers, and Honda tried her best not to stare too much.

"Sure. What kind of flowers do you need? Is it for a special occasion?" She asked, stepping out from behind the counter to better assist him, all the while trying to calm the erratic beating of her heart, a little shocked that she still felt this strongly about him after a long time.

"It's a gift for someone really special. It's our anniversary," Kunigami answered, and if possible the tenderness in his eyes intensified.

Honda faltered at his words, her shoulders sagging. Of course, there was no way someone like him would remain single after all these years. How foolish of her, she thought with a sudden painful pang in her heart, and she couldn't help the barrage of questions that entered her mind.

Do you consider her as your princess?

When did you meet her?

How did you get together?

Was she beautiful?

But there was no way she could ask him such questions, so instead, she said, "I think your best option is to go with roses and forget-me-nots. Do you want me to arrange them for you, too?"

"Please and thank you," Kunigami beamed at her, and Honda thought that the person who would receive the flowers she was arranging was such a lucky one.

It was between those thoughts when the door to her shop opened once again. Looking up she caught sight of a tall man with dark hair and crimson eyes, and before she could say her greeting, the man was already speaking.

"Are you kidding me?" He exclaimed, and it took Honda a few seconds to realize that he was talking to Kunigami who seemed to be frozen on where he stood.

For a moment, Honda was worried that things would go down a dangerous route, but to her amazement, the look of shock that had crossed Kunigami's face when the man arrived was replaced with something akin to embarrassment.

"Shouei! Why are you here?" Kunigami asked, and Honda noted how he sounded as if he wanted to run away.

"I was going to buy you flowers," the new-comer said. "What are _you_ doing here?"

At that question, Honda watched Kunigami silently point at the flowers, half-frowning and half-pouting, cheeks taking on the same hue as the roses in her hands.

"Oh," the other man breathed out in realization before shaking his head in amusement, slowly approaching Kunigami and stopping beside him with proximity so close that their shoulders were almost touching.

_'I see.'_ Honda thought as she noticed Kunigami, actions seemingly dictated by instinct more than anything, moved even closer to the other man until their knuckles were brushing with one another. It was a gesture so subtle yet so tender that Honda could suddenly see everything with clarity, and all the puzzle pieces laid in front of her finally fell into place.

She had been mistaken.

There was no princess.

Just a man brave enough to stare right into the radiance shining from Kunigami's very being.

"What are we going to do?" Kunigami's voice brought Honda out of her reverie.

The man, the one that held Kunigami's heart, looked thoughtful for a moment, "You pay half, and I'll pay the rest?"

"Deal." Kunigami nodded before turning to her, "Ah, sorry, but can you arrange half a dozen in one bouquet and the remaining half in another?"

"No problem," Honda smiled, congratulating herself when her voice came out normal despite the sudden heavy feeling settling inside her, straining her heart that it was almost painful.

As she busied herself with working on the bouquets, giving them furtive glances and listening to them talk about getting a celebratory cake later, Honda couldn't help but regret everything she didn't do.

Would things have turned out differently had she talked to him?

Could she have been the one receiving flowers from him if that was the case?

But Honda knew that all these questions will remain unanswered. She knew she lost her chance a long time ago, and as she watched Kunigami laugh after they exchanged the bouquets she handed to them, there was only one thing on her mind.

Kunigami Rensuke really was radiant.

So blindingly radiant that she felt like crying.

**ꔰꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꗥꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔰ**

Sunburst.

If Amano Kaname would describe Kunigami Rensuke, he would say that he was like the rays of the sun peeking out from behind the clouds, burning brighter and brighter each passing day. He was a force of nature, powerful in a sense that he had the ability to draw people in without even trying. Every person he met, all the people at the receiving end of his soft gaze, would find themselves seeking his presence, wanting to stay within his orbit and bask beneath his kindness that was too vast and too wide for his tiny heart to contain.

Amano was no different from those people, but he liked to think that he was one of the lucky few.

Because while those people could only dream of being with Kunigami, he was someone who was allowed to stay by his side.

Kunigami was his classmate, a close and very dear friend, too dear that Amano often found himself dreaming of him, kissing him and holding him close without the desire to let go.

Yes.

Kunigami was his friend, but Kunigami was also more, so much more. Yet, despite the depth of his affections for him, Amano did not dare indulge in his desires, ignoring the calls of his heart.

It turned out, Kunigami held no such reservations.

"I like you," Kunigami said to him one day, and the dark flush on his cheeks and how his friend couldn't quite meet his eyes when he said those words told Amano all he needed to know.

_I like you, too_ is what he didn't say, instead what he said was, "I'm sorry."

Amano had told him that he didn't feel the same, lied through his teeth and tried not to give in to the urge to hold Kunigami close when the light behind his eyes dimmed a little, a curtain of sadness falling over vivid brown like gray skies before the rain came down, and even then, Amano kept his tongue tied and his mouth shut. He never told Kunigami how much he wanted him, locking all his emotions inside his heart and throwing away the keys. It was embarrassing, but Amano was afraid — afraid of Kunigami and what could happen if he had been honest.

Kunigami was too bright, and Amano had feared being overshadowed by his light. He thought that if he had accepted Kunigami's love, he would lose his own brightness, that he wouldn't shine as much as he did now.

That day, he let Kunigami Rensuke walk away.

Then, Kunigami had received some sort of letter from the country's football association the same time Amano had to move away. It was a parting that was empty yet so full of unspoken things, and Amano hadn't seen Kunigami ever since.

Almost eight years had passed since then.

He was now a businessman, influential and powerful with a company under his name. He had everything that he ever needed, could easily get anything that he didn't have within his grasp if he ever so desired. Still, he felt incomplete, like something was missing, preventing him from achieving the contentment he had been seeking for almost an eternity.

He thought he knew what it was, what was lacking in his life.

He had fooled around, slept with a few people here and there. He even dated some, yet, he would be lying if he said that he had forgotten about Kunigami — born from the sun and filled with tender kindness as wide and vast as the ocean — the love that he was too much of a coward to accept. Many times, Amano would wonder what would have happened if he had just been honest at that time, if he had just accepted the affection Kunigami had been offering so willingly. At times, he would even find himself asking how he would react if he ever saw Kunigami again.

He got his answer three weeks later.

Amano was just about to reach out for the handle of the door to the restaurant when another hand did the same thing coming into contact with his own hand. Drawing his hand back, Amano turned his head to apologize, only for his words to die in his throat at the sight of the person that he never thought he would ever see again.

"Kunigami," he said, suddenly breathless. 

Kunigami looked exactly the way Amano thought he would be. More mature, but with the same light to his eyes and smile. No. Kunigami was more beautiful now, and Amano could feel the ache of want buzzing loudly on the tips of his fingers.

Before him, Kunigami blinked, his face shifting from confusion to recognition in a span of a second. 

"Amano? Amano Kaname?"

"The one and only," he responded, lips quirking up ever so slightly.

Perhaps, it was his own wistful thinking, maybe even his greedy and selfish desires, but he had hoped that Kunigami would still look at him with pain in his eyes because that would mean that somehow, by some miracle, he still had a chance. Instead, Kunigami looked at him with calm eyes and an equally calm smile, looking so serene as if he was reuniting with an old friend and nothing more.

"It's been a while. How have you been?" Kunigami asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

Amano wanted to tell him a lot of things, wanted to let him know that the Amano Kaname in the past had been a fool, had always been and will always be one. He wanted to reveal the fact that he never stopped loving him, and maybe, just maybe, he wanted to know whether a part of Kunigami's heart was still beating for him. But before he could even get one word out, the door of the restaurant opened from inside, revealing a rather intimidating figure that somehow looked both familiar and foreign.

"Ren, what are you still doing out here?" The stranger asked, sharp eyes scanning his surroundings like a predator ready to pounce on its prey. "If you don't hurry, those idiots will eat everything."

"I'm not worried. You saved some food for me, didn't you?" Kunigami acknowledged the other's statement with an all too knowing grin — one that Amano hadn't seen him wear for as long as he knew him — eyes automatically gravitating towards the person now standing so close next to him. 

"Of course." The other man huffed, almost sounding offended. "I wouldn't let you starve just because your friends look like they haven't eaten for five years."

"They're your friends, too," Kunigami replied almost instantly as if this kind of conversation was a daily occurrence.

"Debatable," the other stated with a shrug, earning him a glare that held more fondness than heat from Kunigami.

Amano had never thought he'd see Kunigami bantering with someone, throwing quips and playful glares like it was his second nature. Kunigami had always been quiet, not really an introvert, but he preferred to keep to himself most times, so it was hard to imagine him being anything but. Yet, here he was, standing in front of Kunigami and witnessing a new and fascinating side of him. It made Amano wonder, wanting nothing more than to know who could bring out this side of Kunigami as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"Who's this?" the man suddenly asked, eyeing him intently and bringing him out of his reverie. The expression in his eyes was bored, yet Amano couldn't help the shivers running through his veins the longer he stared at him.

"He's Amano Kaname. He's a friend from high school," Kunigami answered. His voice was kind and sincere, yet his words left a void so wide in Amano's chest. He would be lying if he said it didn't sting to hear Kunigami refer to him as a friend, but nothing stung more than the realization that he already lost Kunigami, and that perhaps, he lost him a long time ago. 

"I see. Well, go inside when you're done catching up. I don't think I'll be able to protect your food from those gluttons," the other finally said before turning to walk away but not before planting a quick kiss to Kunigami's temple, leaving Kunigami in a sort of daze, his face and ears red.

Amano didn't doubt that such action was a show of affection from the man to Kunigami, but he also knew that it was a message meant for him, one that Amano thought wasn't necessary. He had an inkling about the relationship between the two of them the moment he saw them standing next to one another. Still, having an inkling and being proven right were two different things, and knowing the truth didn't stop the hurt from creeping up to his heart.

"Sorry about Shouei," Kunigami said, his voice soothing and piercing at the same time. "He has a bad habit of intimidating people he just met."

_"Shouei, huh? So that's his name."_

And then, it clicked.

Barou Shouei.

It took a while for Amano to put a name to the face, but with Kunigami's words, he now remembered him as a national football player, a part of the new wave that started the revolution of the sport, but that didn't matter. At least not at this moment, because right now, Barou was not a football player. Right here and now, Barou was the person who had everything Amano had ever wanted.

"You should go to him," Amano found himself saying when he noticed that Kunigami's attention was now focused on somewhere else, eyes focused to the door of the restaurant, no, to the person just beyond it, like he wanted nothing more than to be with Barou once more.

"Thank you," Kunigami said, understanding coloring his expression. "And Amano?"

Amano swallowed, feeling as if Kunigami's next words would be his death sentence, "Yeah?"

"I really am happy to see you."

And for the second time in his life, Amano let Kunigami walk away from him, but this time, he knew that he wouldn't be coming back, at least not in the way he wanted him to.

Not when Amano saw Kunigami approach Barou Shouei with a smile, his very own eyes glued to the way Barou took Kunigami's hand the moment he was within reach. Amano watched them for a while, only turning to face the other way when he witnessed Kunigami curl his hand against Barou's, entwining their fingers together with practiced ease. It was like they had been doing it forever, and with how comfortable both of them looked, with how Barou's stoic face melted into something content and happy, they might as well be.

They were perfect for each other, Amano found himself thinking right then and there.

And even with the blurry glass of the restaurant separating them, even with the distance — too short yet suddenly too wide — between them, Amano could vividly see just how much the two of them adored each other, how true their affection for one another was. Not only that, but for some reason, he could imagine how Kunigami's brightness seemed to balance the shadow looming above Barou.

But most of all, Amano could see how much Kunigami was loving and being loved in return.

It was then that Amano knew.

He never stood a chance.

Not anymore.

With a weary sigh, Amano found himself looking at the sky, closing his eyes when the sun peaked out from behind the clouds. Somehow, it reminded him of Kunigami

Bright, warm, beautiful, yet absolutely unreachable.

**ꔰꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꗥꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔰ**

Kunigami Rensuke was the sun burning brightly at its peak, carrying a kind of warmth that could set hearts ablaze.

He was beautiful just as much as he was terrifying, and perhaps, Barou thought as his gaze lingered on the person walking next to him, that had been the reason why others were content gazing at him from a safe distance, simply watching him flourish beneath the azure of the sky while staying far away from his flames.

But Barou was different.

Even from the beginning, Barou had always been brave, reckless. He never feared being scorched. He would let himself burn than regret not doing anything.

Besides, Barou thought as he reached out to hold Kunigami's hand, a gesture that was immediately accepted and reciprocated, the moment he fell in love with the sun, he thrived more than he could ever imagine.

**ꔰꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꗥꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔹꔰ**

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> \- Everyone loves Kunigami
> 
> \- Kunigami's heart belongs to one man and one man only
> 
> \- Kunigami is the sun in more ways than one
> 
> \- Barou Shouei likes one person. Really, he does.
> 
> \- lol
> 
> And hey, if you like Blue Lock and would like to talk about it, talk to me. My twitter's [@novacchi](https://twitter.com/novacchi) btw.


End file.
